ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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