I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
