Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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