Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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