my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
