All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
