Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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