Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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