So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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