My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
