Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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