Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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