I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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