Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize