i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
