i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Four minutes until I can fart!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
