I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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