I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I need a beard to bite.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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