YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
