Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
