I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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