I just pynch a tree in the face
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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