I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
