I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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