Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
