before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
