Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
