I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
