What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
