I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
