Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
