fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
