the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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