ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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