Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
