Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
