Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
