I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
