This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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