i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
