All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
