Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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