After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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