Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
