dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Farmville is her only friend.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am available for nakedness
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND