I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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