just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
ttyl tear gas
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize