we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
