we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
