I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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