all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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