Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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