you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize