make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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