That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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