so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
