We're like a lot better than the average bears
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there was a trapeze. enough said
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
