we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
