marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
