i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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