i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
