somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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