Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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