Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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