Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
